Hello my friends! I hope your week was productive and relaxing. But for those of you who still need to wind down, just take a deep breath and be still for 1 minute by the clock, thinking only positive thoughts. See if you can do this, most people find it difficult, but if you can, it tends to help clear your brain. And I should know!! I am one who has a hard time clearing my brain!! I know it's all there, because I have had numerous CT scans and MRI's. And apart from a few Migraine induced lesions, I have a normal thinker. But thoughts are not always generated in the head, as we all know, they come from a much different and deeper place.

One of the things I did do to try to bring some peace into my brain was to buy a canary. Now most of you know how much I love nature, but I didn't even really want a canary bird, I was persuaded when I heard that the canary's song can solicit the ability to focus in the "right now". And it really does, if you don't mind having him sing over you when you are trying to talk or do other things. He sings when he wants to. That is the one freedom he has, my Peter Cetera. That's his name, he is named after the former lead singer of the "Chicago" band, which is my favorite group. He no longer even tries to fly out of his cage because he doesn't want to. I really don't think he can conceive of anything outside of his cage, it's all too scary! I feel bad for him because he doesn't even know the beautiful world that awaits him if he could just fly free.

Now to the serious part. Trauma can be a cage in our lives from which we never feel confident to fly. When something happens to totally change life as you know it...usually unexpected, that's trauma. And one such thing happened to my family October 6th of 2006. The event had actually taken place many years earlier, but the revelation of events from back then hit us square in the face. Wes and I were in a little mountain spot where we own property spending a much needed overnight away. At 3:00 am my cell phone rang and my son-in-law sounded very troubled. My heart went to my throat, "you need to talk to Penie, she's calling for you, something has happened and I'm not sure what." I heard my daughter's voice in the background screaming and I immediately started shaking and praying. "Mom" she said in a little girl's voice, "He raped me", I said "who, and are you okay?". All I got was "he raped me, oh God Mommy, he raped me". My 24 year old daughter doesn't usually call me "Mommy", so I knew we were in trouble. I was so puzzled and disoriented, by this time Wes had grabbed the phone. Ryan was back on, he said "she just began regressing like a child and saying she was raped and she said it was when she was little." From that point all I can remember is speeding home through mountain roads, sometimes 90 miles and hour to get back to help our daughter. By the time we arrived, my son Britt was there helping bring some comfort and taking care of the babies. I held Penie who was curled up and still sobbing but making no sense. Gradually she began to make sense again, and when she did, the story she told was spine chilling. An eight year old girl, being totally abused beyond comprehension and it was told in detail as if it was happening to her all over again. Suddenly things began to come together in my mind and certain things about her growing up made sense. All anyone in that room could feel was first compassion then anger and outrage and a need to bring justice to the perpetrator. Now don't judge us, had you been there you would have understood. All of this is in the past and I in no way desire to bring anything up that will cause harm to anyone. My daughter Penie has forgiven and is dealing with her own pain. And to accuse anyone is not my intention. I intend to use this experience to bring help and hope to those who may have had similar situations. And to to give understanding to those who were in our lives, at the time, as to what our family was dealing with. The church which we shepherded at the time suffered as our family withdrew, and I feel I owe it to them to share this with them. No names will be used in the making of this blog!!!!

I have found that my trauma kept me in a cage. And until recently I didn't know I could find the freedom to fly above it. I might have been producing sound to the best of my ability, but finding out the truth about my child and my family put me somewhere dark and isolated. I was being held in a cage in which I could only see one room. I only ate emotionally what was handed to me, never being empowered to change my emotional diet. I really thought I was doing good and doing my thing by singing my caged song! The only people I was touching were those who happened by my cage. I could go on with the comparisons, but listen, I want to share how my family has walked out of the cage, at least for now and seen this trauma for what it is. We are still dealing, but we now see the impact and the blessing. I hope if there is a trauma situation you have been dealing with that you will remember that the cage can only hold you so long. Don't die caged up like so many others, get help, talk to someone. Life is a one time deal. You need peace and you need hope. I'm here to try to give as much of that as I can. Had I stayed inside this cage I would have died of resentment.

I will continue this next time and share some steps for recovery. Please stay with me, I hope this hasn't confused you, but I know the God of your understanding will help you if you just begin to ask for clarity over the trauma in your life.

Until next time,

Love, Roma Beth

The Early Bird

Writing early in the morning is wonderful! I love it when I wake up energized and ready to meet the day, which wasn't the case this morning! No I awoke at five thirty a.m. with a case of insomnia. I usually don't get up that early, I am a night owl and usually stay up until after midnight. But this morning I woke up eager to write.

I have been ill, so I have not written for a while, but let me share with you something that came to me as an inspiration of hope. Now I know some of you are waiting for me to share the more intimate details of my life, which I will share as I feel to. But for today, I want to share a positive story that helped to frame my life. There have been times in my life when men or women have spoken to me and I knew it was directly from my Higher Power, and when I was in my mid-twenties this came about. A man who knew nothing about the circumstances of my life, and knew very little about me said this as a part of a word of encouragement. "You are a wise eagle, you are not an ostrich with your head in the sand" and he went on to say that I would see many things but be able to discern them. And then he spoke to such an intimate situation in my heart, that I knew he was genuine. He spoke about my children. He said not to worry about them, that as I gave my time to help others, that God would take care of my children. And He has.

I share this because I want to share with you a secret about my life, and hopefully it will also help you. In studying the eagle, I found it closely related to the hawk, the main difference being size. They are both raptors, from the same family, and are birds that soar!! I will share later all of my episodes of encounters with hawks, but since that Word, every time I see a Hawk soar above me, I know God is in control. In Indian medicine, the hawk represents wisdom and the ability to see a situation from all sides. Boy have I needed that!!! All through my ministry and Pastorate God always allowed a hawk to show up when I needed to remember that He was in charge, and that He had an eternal view of the situation in front of me. Impossible situations were always handled divinely, after seeing my hawk. Now, for fear that this blog might be too long, I will say to you, as a pre-cursor to everything else I might share in the future, that I have seen a lot in my three lifetimes!! But, I have always tried to see through the eyes of an eagle. As I share about growing up as a Pastor's daughter and the challenges I faced, or about my recent challenges of facing addiction and recovery in my own family, I hope to bring you an "eagle's view". That's my purpose.

Someone reading this today needs to know that God is in control of your circumstances. If you will humbly admit your need for His help, He will show Himself faithful. He may not give you what you want, but He'll help you soar to places where that won't matter. Maybe you need to just give up, really, just stop holding on so tight!!!! How can God mend something He can't hold? Give it to Him. You know, "cast your care upon Him for He cares for You", as the scripture says.

Okay, time's up. I have to go, but here's your hope, the next time you see a hawk soaring above you, remember your position in a God who loves and fly above your circumstances. Take wing and fly above the distractions and limitations of your dirt (earthly) man. and change your altitude, your perspective, moving into the possibilities of a dimension of freedom and hope, which is the dimension of God's love. Sound simple? It is. Let the hawk bring you back to the the present moment, open your heart and take in the beautiful sights, you'll be surprised just where your flight will take you!!

We'll talk later,

Love, Roma Beth

Good morning to all of you!! Thank you for giving me a few minutes of your time today. I hope this enriches you and aids you in living a prosperous life, in all areas.

Albert Einstein said: "I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be."

As we all know, our days can be full of chaos! As I sit here now, I am bombarded with four dogs barking at my window. These, of course, are my wonderful, fierce small dogs. They have discovered a black cat outside our house who doesn't belong there. No matter what I do or say, these particular dogs won't like that cat because it's their nature not to. I can train them not to bark, or to put their attention elsewhere, but they will never love that cat. Even if their master, me, tries to subdue their nature, it will pop out! Even if the dog whisperer is called, he might can change their conduct, but he can't really change their heart, their nature ( By the way, I love how the dog whisperer takes people back to their true nature with dogs) . My dogs weren't raised with this cat, and as far as they're concerned he is the enemy force and is to be hated!!!!! For those of you who have seen me speak, imagine me illustrating this!!!

With that picture in your mind, look at yourself for a moment. How often do you get permission to focus on you? So do it before the moment passes! You, as a human being have been created with a nature. We are told we were created in the image of God, who is light and love. Yeah yeah, I know about "the fall', but that didn't change the nature you were meant to have, if anything, it just subdued it.

What really gets under your skin? Is it something you know goes against the nature you were created with? Now don't go all theological on me, I could go in any direction, but for those of you who claim to have a relationship with Jesus Christ, He actually showed us how to act. If you don't believe anything else about Him, you must know that He was one who loved and changed others to do so. He shed the light of God wherever He went. He showed us a better way to live. No hatred, or unforgiveness, or fear, or rejection. Even when He was dying. These are topics I will be writing about in the future. But for today, let's do a general overhaul. Let's isolate anything destructive to our "God nature", or "Jesus consciousness", and let's begin to ask our Higher power, "is that feeling worthy of my nature?". Once that is done, if you identify something that is not, write it down, maybe start a journal to help you love yourself more, then give that attitude or opinion up. It's that simple. Go back to your nature in that situation, I believe God will help you to do so once you identify and ask.

I think you will see changes that surprise you by choosing to let go of things against God's nature in you. Like these dogs, I can't really do anything but get them away from the window to get them stop acting on their nature. I want you to look out of your window of life after having asked God for a change, let your nature go, and see what happens.

I love each one of you, I am on this journey along with you, so any comments are welcome.

Until next time,

With love,

Roma Beth

My morning Coffee

Good morning!! I decided that today would be a good day for a morning post. I drink delicious coffee!! My husband roasts our coffee in his own roaster, how wonderfully lucky am I? He brings it to me every morning and that is his expression of saying "I love you" everyday. We decided he doesn't have to say it if he thinks it by bringing me my coffee!!! While drinking it we have some quiet time and some interaction, this morning I had some thoughts to share. By the way, thanks to all who have signed up to follow these thoughts, I know you all and You are all very unique in your own abilities to not only take life to a new level, but to lead others there. And that's what I want to share with you, taking life to a new level.

We all know that our own destinies lie within our own choices, if not, the news flash is that no one, no force outside of you, no system or philosophy will take you to a new level of living, if you don't already have the will power inside of you. Some people think they possess it, and then when they hit bottom, they're surprised they can't seem to find it like I was.

The biggest thing I have had to learn is how to live life on life's terms and take it one moment at a time. Living life on life's terms for me is not just being a realist, it is also having the understanding that life is a gift and if we learn to live it as a gift and take one moment at a time, not looking so far ahead, but just conquering the moment, we're in, we can slowly start enjoying everything that comes our way. Wow, nothing so spiritual, just simply there to be done. I would say to those of you who have suffered depression, and believe me, it is an illness!!! This is my best advice, keep life as simple as you can, not complicating the picture of who you should be. Don't place expectations on yourself or let anyone else, indeed, only your God knows who you are and He's giving you the moments as they come shaped just like they are for a reason!!! It's so simple, just like Jesus' teachings, such a simple concept. But remember that "your steps are ordered of the Lord". That means that He is shaping every single moment to do something in you or through you, and maybe sometimes He just wants you to breath so your cells can receive the nourishment to get you to the next moment.

Let me give you one small example that gave me insight into this. Silk is one of our most precious fabrics. If you watch a silk worm you will observe that it is a fat and greedy creature. But somehow out of it's own substance it produces something amazing and beautiful. You know why? it doesn't have a choice, it was made that way. It was born to express this beauty which we so take for granted. What are you made for? Well, certainly if a worm, fat and greedy produces something that the fashion industry holds so precious,and it is used to clothe us, you, by focusing on what you do have, can produce something unbelievable to you and to others. Let's give it a try and go on this journey together.

There will be more to come on this subject, but until then,

With Love,
Roma Beth

Where Do I Begin?

Hi everyone!!! If you have come here you are either a friend, a friend of a friend, or a family member. Thank you for allowing me to fill your computer screen with my words. And thank you for the precious time you are taking to read me. I know that time measures as gold these days, so I don't write lightly. I really don't know where to begin, so let's just start here... When I say "read me" I mean just that, I hope to convey to you through the literary word many thoughts, ideas, and real experiences that I have had. And anyone who knows me knows that on any given day I might just surprise you with something I don't even expect!!!

Now a few explanations and DISCLAIMERS!!!

About the name, "To Roma With Love", my parents named me "Roma Beth", not a very common name. Now "Beth" can be short for "Elizabeth", but you don't often see it as just "Beth". And "Roma", well it needs no explanation. The name actually means "Rome" thus being in a whimsical mood, I came up with the name. It is the name of a very old movie, "To Rome With Love" but many of you are too young to know that!!!

I always hated the first day of school when the teacher would call out "Roma Paulk"....usually pronouncing "Paulk" as "Polk". "Hey they're teachers don't they know how to say 'Paul' with a 'K'?" I always thought to myself. But anyway since the name was always embarrassing, I thought I'd get some good use from it. Now, I like it and it is very uniquely mine. And for all those who pronounced my name "Polk" I am now "B-o-n-n-e-r". Much easier to pronounce and don't you dare try to pronounce it with just one "n"!!! (My family will understand that :).

My next disclaimer is for those critics who want to examine my grammar...no, I am not going to write everything correctly. I wouldn't be me if I did! So just read the words, if you can, and ignore the rest. And "yes" I am going to use commas!!!

Another disclaimer is that I am not a Theologian, nor want to be. I have some education in "theology" but not enough to claim the prowess others may have in that area. I am only sharing thoughts. Thoughts that come from my very soul, and even my spirit. Thoughts from surviving being raised in a Pastor's home, marrying too young, raising two wonderful children and now being a delightfully happy Grandmother (and a whole lot in between!). Thoughts from being in "the ministry" all of my life and being ordained to become a woman Pastor since 1989, give or take a few years...let's see that's, 21 years of experience! And some may not believe that I was the first of my gender to actually have a church in a certain county, and City, which shall both remain nameless. I "broke the glass ceiling" in my county for women in ministry. Or I could say I blasted away some very hard "Rock" in my county for women Ha Ha!!! I know that's corny, but I'll disclaim that too!! Boy do I have some stories!

The good part is that my wonderful husband was also ordained beside me and sometimes I let him do the things I couldn't or wouldn't do as a woman! That leads me to say that I have been married to the same wonderful man for 32 years! And I don't say that to placate him or for some sort of just due. Everyone who knows him knows he is wonderful, but he has his faults, and I do too. So staying married, sometimes happily, and sometimes not is also a qualifier.

My final disclaimer is simple, I don't think I am anything other than someone who really wants to use all of her experiences, thoughts and love for her God and for others, to help weave something beautiful out of the experience you maybe having or will have someday. Because I believe that my God is weaving every thread of my frazzled life into something no longer frazzled and torn, but beautiful to behold!!!

Oh well, I hope you enjoyed my introductory writing. I have enjoyed writing it and I know I will enjoy writing as my life unfolds. And let me say, I do appreciate you and love you!! And that's where I begin!

Roma Beth