NEWS FLASH FROM MY LIFE

Hello to all my faithful friends! At the sight of this greeting please don't fall off your chair or your couch, or choke on your coffee or trip on your own feet, if you're walking and reading, which you shouldn't be doing! I know that it is impressive that I am writing two posts in one month!! I have to write when I find the inspiration and I have been given some amazing inspiration!

I have something to share with you. News Flash: You are not in control of your life. God knows what you need when you need it. Keep on praying for God's will to be done in your life, because God's will is that the desires of your heart be met, and only He truly knows what those are. And it's all in His time, when you're in a time of drought, or feeling "invisible" it's hard to believe that anything will ever change, ever!!! But in one moment things can turn around, and not by anything you do, but by something God may bring to you. That's what has begun to take place in my life. In just a few weeks, God has begun to open so many new and fresh doors. I have ideas flowing, God helped kick start my book, and some other things so amazing, that they had to be God!

It's been three years of drought for me. And especially since my Dad died. Our relationship was complicated but I loved him with all my heart. All families find forgiveness a necessary part of their daily walk with one another. Our walk of forgiveness was just viewed by many more people than we would have chosen. There was some confusion in our relationship that could never be eradicated. There was a time when every traveling prophet that visited my Dad's church would prophecy that I was to be my Dad's "successor". This went on for years and I never really knew what it meant. It was usually done in private with just me and my Dad or me him and another elder, or just him. But my Dad never wanted to admit it, or say anything to anyone in public. I'm glad. He, however, began almost public campaigns for others to stand beside him and become his" Elisha" and catch his "mantel". At the time the Church, in the K- center was a thriving, huge ministry, and I was in my twenties. This scared me to death. Of course things moved on in many different directions and here we are today. The good thing is I have never really tried to be in control of this. In fact, at the urging of the Holy Spirit I left the Church in the early 90's and it had nothing to do with this. Some misunderstood our leaving as a "power play" as if I hadn't gotten my way so we were taking our toys and going home. Only thing was we didn't have any toys to take. We made the decision to leave based on our own quality of life. If I knew I had done something to thwart what was "of God" It would grieve me, but then I would someday be brought back onto the right path because "the steps of a righteous man are ordered of the Lord". By my definition of "righteousness", I think I meet the standard. I think it means staying in the right relationship with God and treating our fellow man as we ought. Anyway, being a successor doesn't always mean what we think it means. For example, your Mom or Dad have certain traits, good and bad, certain gifts and certain defects of character, everyone does. You got some of those from your parents. If you are to be their successor say, in the business, it doesn't necessarily mean that you will run the office, it might just mean that you will have the same passion for the work they are doing. I guess that's my take on this thing. Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it, for those of you who wonder how I have felt about this. I am at peace.

I don't really think I've talked too much about my Dad and how I feel, but I promised God and you that I"ll share things from my life that might help bring spiritual perspective to anyone suffering from something similar. Whoa!!! I can't cover this subject in one entry, and I've already made you injure yourself by writing it, so I'll just start and stop where I'm comfortable.

I was cleaning out my office this week and I came across my stack of bibles. I only keep about half of them on my book shelves. I store the others. The stack comes up to my knees, so I thought, "well I'll go through and see if I can store any of these". Most had been given to me. I had one given to me by one of my spiritual Papas, Oral Roberts, he taught me so much about agreement in heavenly places. He called me a few times when I was really sick and his prayer was just as fervent and real over the phone! He was for real. We made a connection at my Dad's church when I had a migraine and I was healed, he then said that God was calling me into a "healing ministry", now that's more down my line, anyway, so he would occasionally call to check on me. What a man! So I kept his bible out. Then I found a bible from my childhood, you know the one with the colored pictures in each chapter. I found my teenage bible (and some notes that I was apparantley passing during church, shame, shame!). Then there was "Una Parola, Una Vita" my Italian bible from Sylvano Lily, a Pastor in Rome who I sincerely hope to visit someday and preach for. I even tried learning Italian for a year for the the occasion! I was pretty good at it, but I have forgotten all but a few words, why does that happen, why? Excuse me while I wipe away my tears over my lost Italian.....Okay, I'm back, but, then I found the bible from my Daddy. It was in a box, and as I opened it the aroma of bible leather filled my senses, I love that smell it brings up images of my Daddy studying on Saturday nights when I was a little girl, of my own studying of God's Word, of putting my face in the bible as I prayed for people and the many funerals and weddings I've officiated. Then, when I opened the pages I could see that it had belonged to him.

He had used it from about 1975 to 1984. I immediately recognized this as the bible he had used when he preached about "The Message of The Kingdom of God". This maybe just a "catch-phrase" to some of you now. To others you understand the impact that this message has had on the Christian faith. I know that when he began preaching this message it was true and pure, unadulterated. And as long as he preached it, staying true to the tenants of the Word of God and the nature of Christ, he did so much good and still is known as a "Father" of the message of "The Kingdom of God". When history writes it's view, fleshly actions don't cancel out what God does through an earthen vessel. If they do then all the psalms and everything David did is null and void. And we can say the same for Saul of Tarsus, or Paul. My Dad was repentant on his death bed. I was there to witness it.

Okay, so I open the front page, and it says, "Christmas 1989, Dear Beth: This is the Bible I was using when God gave me the revelation concerning "The Gospel of The Kingdom". I felt to pass it on to you in hopes it might serve as an inspiration in years to come. I love you! Daddy" I don't know exactly what was in his mind and now I can't ask him. He did share a few visions and dreams he had about me ministering, but none seem even feasible to me now (I know, I know what you're saying to me, where's my faith? With God all things are possible. Thank you very much). And in my heart I know that sometimes the church system is a "broken cystern" drinking the same water every time they gather and letting it flow on through them instead of getting filled, taking hold, and and pouring it out on a thirsty world. We are secure in our present systems and little traditional groups. But someday people will begin to reach outside of the familiar, and reach out for the Son of love because they need more, actually, they need less. When they let the chains of any form of legalism, any form of judgmentalism, any form of control begin to fall, as each link lets loose, they will begin to be transformed into this wonderful dimension. His Kingdom is not of this world, it is inside you, in a place which will live on forever. We must begin to learn to access it and live in a higher dimension of life. By the way, it's refreshing to see when churches begin to catch a glimpse of this and move into this new dimension. It is beginning to happen in some churches. When I speak of churches who are stuck in tradition or in "the system", please remember that I know a lot of good Pastors and people who feel the same way as what is written in this post.

Wheew! That's my sermon for the day! My point is, I am on a path that only God has chosen. "You chart my path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment You know where I am. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed." Psalm 139 (NLT). This scripture blows me out of the water people!!! I'm not even really sure what is coming my way from day to day with what has been working in my heart lately. But obviously God does. He knows where you are. We think we're so smart with our satellite locaters. I use to go on line and look at my son's house in Nashville just to feel close to him. Maybe not in real time, but you Mother's know how it is, sometimes you just need to feel close to your baby, even if he is 31 years old. Please don't tell Britt that I did this, I really don't do it anymore, now that I feel he is happy and safe. Ah, who cares that I did it anyway?!!! But God has never needed technology and has always been able to see right down into the very core of your being! He knows me better than I know myself and has proven this to me this week. I'm not trying to behave as if I know better than anyone, God forbid! I know nothing except what God inspires into my heart and mind. And those of you who know me also know that! Ha!

From Roma

With Love

Have I Been Erased?

I know!! It's been over a month. When I looked at my last posting I could not believe my slothfulness. However, I will give myself a break since I have been dealing with some very crazy physical issues that you don't need to hear about. Maybe later. I'll just say that I found out this week that my blood work does not show anything like cancer or any major illnesses. However they, the very efficient Doctors, are still in the process of examining the source, of my unspecified fever I have had for SIX MONTHS!!!! Sorry, didn't mean to let my frustration show. Anyway now I don't need to tell you later because I just told you. Another excuse for delaying my post is that I went on vacation with my family, it was awesome, I think it was the best vacation we have had.

I want to start by just asking you if you've ever felt just invisible, or like a big cosmic eraser has come down and just erased the place where you thought you were making a difference in this world? I'm sure I can't be the only one. I think seasons of change in our lives must bring this feeling. I have been through this a few times. Once when I left a thriving ministry out of moral convictions...it is the hardest things I had ever done. I went from a religious television personality, pastor of 300 families, to nothing but a woman struggling for her sanity overnight. What was that about? But God raised up another ministry through the pain, and soon we were a part of birthing a beautiful Christ centered, Spirit led church that led hundreds to Him and was responsible for so many great and powerful things. I'd like to think we opened a wider door to God's presence and helped to change the face of youth ministry in our community. We did change how churches and schools interacted in our community. I also made a personal difference in how women are received in our county in Pastoral roles. It took a lot of tenacity to break down that wall!!! But The greater things we did were to change lives, help people get back to God, restore homes, bring people back to hope and sanity, comfort, love and introduce people through worship to a healing God. I faithfully preached the Word three, sometimes four times a week, sometimes through broken limbs, migraines, viruses, pneumonia, strep throat, kidney stones, you name it, for 13 plus years. Then on August 19, 2007 it happened again, it stopped. Just stopped. At first I felt liberated, then I felt lost on Saturday nights and Sundays and I missed the church family. Then when I visited other churches all I could do was cry. So I quit going to church. I would get sermons with no one to hear, I would get Words with no one to tell, so I would write them anyway. I felt rejected, and I felt invalidated. This went on for a looooooong time, but in time this feeling just dissipated and I started feeling as if the place I stood was important enough.

I promise I am not just toying with you, I really came to a place of serenity, knowing that all I can do is wake up and take one step into the day, one breath sometimes and see what God brings my way. I have been surprised at how much God has put in my path. And it is so liberating knowing that God has been doing this same thing with so many people I know!!

The "Bloody Blanket" led us to an encounter with people we would have never been as closely involved in as we were. We attended a "family week" to help understand some of the issues that our son had been battling. I know now God put us there. We were in a room with about 10 other families. We were just one of them. We all had the same issues and we were all on common ground. As we listened to their stories we wept, seriously wept. And they did the same with us. The week changed our lives. We realized that these people didn't feel accepted by any religious institution or organization, no, they only came to a place where love was unconditional with no strings, no expectations in return. And most of us there had to learn to ask our fellow man for help. That's harder than you think. But if God's Kingdom is within us, and if it consists of love, peace, and joy, why shouldn't we be a walking church, or city. This fellowship reflected more of Jesus than anything I had been a part of for a while. Wes and I knew right then that God was turning our hearts in a new direction, a direction harder to see, but with more rewards. Just like Jesus, a mobile unit of loving those who no one else really can see. Those who feel erased, those who feel that the circumstances of life have invalidated them from moving forward. And we continue daily pursuing new ways of doing this!!!!

I am considered "unchurched" right now. But I am a member of Christ's larger community. I believe in the church. I believe that if we don't support it somewhere it will die. And I am looking for the breakthrough of believers who will defy religion and become the Message. If you are one of these people give the church a vote by keeping it alive in someway. What if there were no churches alive when we passed them on Sundays? It could happen, it really could in the day we live in.

So next time you feel erased, or eradicated, or invalidated, or whatever word you may use, just remember that God never destroys anything He creates, though you may feel it's not there it doesn't mean squat, it just means He is transforming it into something you can't see yet!! Ha Ha Ha!!!!

From Roma with Love