Life can change with a phone call

Hi it's been a while. I hope you and yours have stayed well! Sometimes life is very difficult to maneuver and as you know, things can change with one simple phone call. I never experienced this like I did in January of 2007, and even though it's been three years, I shutter even now as I think of it.

Free Life Church, our church at the time, was beginning to really take off and become a place for change and ministry for people truly in need. We had opened our doors even wider to the possibility of reaching the world by changing our method of ministry. The vision of the church had not changed from the original vision, which was to provide "a door" to Jesus Christ and the presence of God. We had already done that as " The Shepherd's Door" but it was time for a change. An unforeseen illness had taken me out of the pulpit or for that matter, the leadership of the church. My son Britt had so willingly stepped in. It was not only the best decision, but, he seemed to have the perfect qualifications. The people knew him well, he had led a team of young people in bringing hundreds to God through our "Throne" ministry, even being recognized nationally for it, and he had been worship leader along with a great team of people so that we could experienced worship like nowhere else. He had also had many prophetic words over his life, even having the renown Benny Hinn said he passed his "anointing" to Britt and never had he done this before.

For those of you who don't know what a prophetic word is it is like a Word of God's promise over an individual life. And in the Christian Churches that believe in the gifts of God being used through man, hold a lot of weight. But now Britt had to be at the helm of a church. A 28 year old, Emory graduate who loved people and ministry. From a logical human view, everything should have been great. But something was "off" and we knew it. Our family was going through some very public matters with my Dad and it was wearing on all of us. And there much more to it that would be impossible to fit into this one blog. Then, one fateful Saturday morning Wes got a call from Britt who had been in the hospital all night alone. He had flipped his jeep over at an intersection, knocked down a light pole and was taken immediately to get a ct scan of his head. Not knowing all the facts yet, Wes pulled on some clothes and out the door he sprung, giving me no choice but to stay home. Boy, did I ever talk to God that morning. We had lost total control and it was a good thing we had! Britt had some injuries and had a few surgeries, but in the end he was a new and better person. I'll share the intricacies with you later, but we did have to dissolve the church during this time having lost most of our members.

We were a family in crisis and out of control! That's when the best things began to happen! And I will share them with you in my next entry. Just know that as God's child, and that's you, when you are forced to give up, then He will take you up. He is so good to lead us even when others' decisions and choices take us through the valley. And even when others abandon and hurt us, God's plan for your life is moving in a sphere and dimension that others can't touch and the plan is right on track. So hang on there and don't feel so helpless no matter what the situation. Someone Who can take control is looking over your shoulder and waiting to step in.

Until next time,
From Roma with Love

How To Find a Safe City

Hello and I hope you had a wonderful weekend! I haven't written for a while, I spent a few days in the same Gulf Coast region that is now very much in danger. As I sat on the beach Dolphin pods swam by playing and eating. Sea gulls flew overhead with their grace and prowess, little crabs hid in the sand peeking one eye out at the intruder in their territory! There was so much beautiful wildlife that it grieves my heart, as I'm sure it does yours, to think that these very creatures may not have much longer to thrive or to survive in their own environment!

Then I saw the horrendous damage being done in Tennessee and surrounding areas by the record breaking floods. I heard a young lady say "this is our first home and it is totally destroyed, and we have a baby coming in a few days". I hurt so much for those raising a family in these uncertain times. So much tragedy and chaos!!! To top things off, another terrorist or "non terrorist" attack, so says the Government spokesman, was thwarted in New York City. Anytime human life is in danger, to me, terror ensues. That is unless you know what I know today and I'm presuming you do, just let me talk about it for a few minutes.

"God is our refuge and strength,

always ready to help in times of trouble.

So we will not fear when earthquakes come

and mountains crumble into the sea.

Let the oceans roar and foam.

let the mountains tremble as the

waters surge!

A river brings joy to the city of our God

the sacred home of the Most High.

God dwells in that city; it cannot be destroyed.

From the very break of day, God will

protect it."

Psalm 46:1-5

I know in our hearts that we do think about why all this is besetting us. And we'll come upon the question, " Where is God in all of this?". He is more grieved over wildlife and human destruction than we ever could be. I can't tell you why these devastating things are happening. But I know where God is. He is in You. The truth is, that the only way we will live everyday with strength and hope is to believe what this Psalm depicts. There is a safe place. It is a city that God is so protective of that no matter what is happening in this present world, which He also created, He will not allow harm to come to that city. What you and I have to know is that the city being referred to here is not a city made with hands, this city is God's sovereign rule in your life. This place is the place within each of us where love is generated, because God is love, and where caring and giving to others is not a problem, it's just natural. If we can live our lives in that dimension of hope, we have no need to fear. Some call it the "Kingdom of God", indeed that's what Jesus Himself called it. When He prayed "Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven", He was bringing heaven down to Earth. He was making it possible for us to pray and receive the same in our own lives.

Dr. Rocco Errico, who is an internationally known authority on the Aramaic (Jesus' language) and Hebrew interpretation of the Bible and ancient Semitic culture, puts it this way, "When we say these words in sincerity, we admit that we desire God's wish to be on earth just as faithfully as it is in the heavens. By awakening this attitude within ourselves, we open our consciousness to the possibility of universal peace on earth. We prepare ourselves to receive and acknowledge the good that our loving Father constantly gives to us" Understanding this concept of God's will being carried out here as in Heaven opens something up in YOU!

Have you ever thought how God designed the Heavens and Earth to operate flawlessly? Again Dr. Errico, "Just as the elements of the universe move in harmony with their innate laws, so we too, need to flow with our innate spiritual powers. In this way we will live together in peace and harmony" Now this is God's desire, this is the city that He will protect no matter what, and it boils down to us.

If you're wondering, I have had a very enlightening weekend! And I hope I have shared this part of it adequately. I'll continue in my next blog entry. But one more thing! Just as the planets have their own orbit, so do we. If God cared to keep the planets aligned, don't you think He has a path aligned for us? As you pray "Thy Kingdom come...etc," you confess that you want to stay in your own orbit. When we understand what we are praying, "We allow the genuine inner Self to emerge and not collide with others." I like the concept that you are not a human being having a spiritual experience, but you are spiritual being having a human experience!

I have much more to say, but remember to stay in tune with that city of love where God rules. It is inside of you and just knowing that, activates it. Operate out of that place and you will not fear and God will guide you and protect you!!! Activate it today by encouraging someone else or lending a helping hand. The awesome love of the universe resident in this city wants to be expressed through you! I know this is true because I know most of you! I love all of you, and may you enjoy all of God's benefits as we pray for those who need this city.

With love

Roma Beth

The Craaazy Stuff of Life!!!

Good morning everyone! It's me again. You know what my sentiment is right now? I'll be honest, sometimes life just makes you tired. I mean just plain old tired of trying, tired!!!! Especially when there are goals you are trying to meet, or expectations waiting in the halls of your mind. Here I am just minding my own business, going along, simply living life, and something comes along that I think I'm okay with, and then it just hits me and I think "I can't do this anymore, I'm tired!!"! Does anyone out there feel my pain?

And then there are those days when nothing I do fits into place. Even the simplest of things, my hands can't seem to hold anything, I try to hang something on a hanger and it slips off two or three times, the coffee scalds my tongue...now it will be sore for days! I drop milk from my cereal bowl onto the PJs I just washed yesterday and they are my favorite PJs, now they'll have to go back through the washing process. Every outfit I choose to put on has something wrong with it, so I go through four before settling on one. I forget to cancel the appointment I couldn't make and get charged a fee, every red light in Newton, Rockdale, Fulton, Dekalb, Cobb and Walton counties catch me if I'm anywhere near! I get almost to where I'm going only to remember I forgot my cellphone. The way I discovered the missing cellphone was because my purse took a tumble and now everything is in the floor. As I'm thinking about that, I enter a parking lot through the wrong entrance and get beeped at, very loudly. As I'm leaving the grocery store, escaping a slow check out line and rude clerk, I remember that I didn't get the one thing I actually came to the store to get probably because my list is somewhere on the floor of the car! Then I remember I forgot all my morning meds! My daughter calls me on the way home and asks me to keep the kids that night for an emergency meeting she must attend. When I hesitate, remembering my day, she takes it as a "no" and starts panicking about who can keep them. When I try to explain why I hesitated, I am misunderstood and there are hurt feelings! When I finally get back home, one thing is checked off my to-do list! I am now the proud owner of new bed sheets that we have needed for sometime. I put them in the washer so we can use them tonight (nothing like a new set of sheets to make a bad day seem not so bad!). But when I return to the laundry room to put them in the dryer, someone has beaten me to it!! How nice! Nice until I realized that they only did it to get their clothes into the washer and they put my sheets on the wrong setting, so now my $89.00 sheets (with a coupon) have shrunk and will not fit my bed. Then as I'm going to bed, I realize I don't feel well and I have a fever. As I say "Good-night" to the Lord, I wonder what tomorrow will hold?

This is the stuff of life, this is living! On days like this I just want to stuff myself into a ball and just zone out!!! I'm sure all of us have been guilty of feeling this way. If you haven't don't tell me that will only add to my list of problems!! Anyway, who said life is suppose to go smoothly? My husband sent me an email that some of you may have received, the information contained therein is from "Steven Covey" who says that 10% of what happens to us on a daily basis it out of our control, and the other 90% is constituted of how we react to that 10%. That's when I said "Reeeaaallly???" it was hard for me to believe, but when I meditated on it I realized the truth it held. Most of my "bad" day was just a normal day with a few little mishaps, but to me, they became horrible obstacles from which I hung my emotional hat of self pity. My problems rest mainly between my two ears, and I don't mean I have a sinus infection or a headache. I have those as well, but, I mean that it is all in how we treat or handle the situations of life that determines our quality of living. So I've gained 3 pounds in one day?...I can lose it again! So my daughter got her feelings hurt?... I can apologize. So my new sheets shrunk?... We'll make more money somehow and buy some more sheets, at least we are strong enough to work. I can't relive those hours, but I can always start again. The one thing I'm learning in recovery, and yes I am recovering from many things, as we all should be, but, I have learned that you can always start over, anytime of the day! This has revolutionized my life!

I guess you can tell that today I am "encouraging myself in the Lord" (as King David said), and I'm letting you listen in. And really all I have shared with you today is to point out that we truly start recovering from trauma and abuse when we learn to let go and forgive ourselves. We all fail every now and then, we all stumble, and we also all overcome or we wouldn't be alive! You are a fighter or you would have been eliminated during the birthing process, you have made it through this life so far by not giving up. So, if you feel that your power was taken from you in a violent or abusive act on you or someone you love, just remember it's not over. You have the sustainability to take back your life. Put yourself on restart and forgive you for not being strong enough to somehow get out of that situation. Then you can start on the road to forgiving others, whether it be your abuser, or those who didn't believe or support you!

I thank my Higher Power, Jesus Christ, that I can live and breath and have my being in Him. Not my "doing", but my "being". You see, I didn't earn the right to live and thrive by anything I have done, it was simply bestowed on me and I am here because of who I have chosen to be, how I have chosen to see myself and my circumstances. I desire to live so that laughter is the best medicine and have so much joy that I couldn't take anymore if you tried to give it to me! Now that's worth living for!!! That's all for now. I hope you will go and enjoy just being who you are!!

Love,

Roma Beth

Good morning! I just love this time of year! The only problem is I want to spend as much time outside as possible, however when I do, because of allergies, I get all congested! I'm sure that's information that added to your day! But how many of you can just feel the itchy nose, watering eyes, sneezing and wheezing? Not to get all philosophical or anything, but isn't that the way of life? We find something we really love, but there's always something standing in the way of us being able to fully enjoy it? You know sort of like the thought process that there is a price tag or a consequence to being able to truly enjoy ourselves. Sort of like taxes! But I'll spare you my sentiment. You know what I do so that I can enjoy the day a little more? I take an antihistamine. Thank God for properly directed pharmaceuticals!

Following this line of thinking, I think some of us, myself included, always feel as if when a good thing is happening to us, we can expect there to be a price tag, or a consequence. You know the saying "too good to be true"? Well there are some inalienable rights that come along with being alive and I think we too often forget those, or let others intimidate us into not believing it. And yes, there are people out there who want to put fear in us for their own purposes. Guilt, fear and intimidation all come from the same negative source and when woven into our thoughts can weaken anything and everything we do. There must have been a reason for Jesus to say "I have come that you might have life and that you might live it to the fullest". There must be an innate need for humanity to resist enjoying the goodness of life.

When someone is victimized, the first thing people want to do is look for a reason. To try and figure out what the victim did to put themselves in jeopardy. Let me tell you something, there doesn't have to be a reason for any individual to suffer from someone else's desire to take what does not belong to them. As simple as this concept is, I find that it is always overlooked. The question "who is to blame?" is always the first attempt to silence the victimized, and put fear and frustration into an already terrible situation.

We experienced this in our family in dealing with my daughter's past abuse. When we began to try to "expose" the problem, even unintentionally, just because we needed help, we were told not to speak of it. Because, as they put it, "everyone can take a little of the responsibility for this". In other words, if she hadn't been put in that situation or had that person not been given access to her. I'm here to tell those of you who are dealing with being victimized, you do have a right to live life "to the fullest" and it's up to you to decide who is to blame. How? You must rise above all criticism and judgmentalism, even well meaning, and then all the crap and sediment will settle in the bottom and you will be vindicated. But the secret is to "rise above" it. I don't care how incredibly horrible your trauma might have been, if you live within the realm of the higher law of love, you will surpass the negative and unkind words of others as God's beautiful light of justice shines through you! Don't balk at me!!!! :) You might not see the person who victimized you suffer any consequences, but believe me, in overcoming evil and hatred with love you are giving place to justice. If we take up a desire to destroy we only add fuel to an already bad fire of evil and it will consume everyone around us! There is only so much space in this atmosphere, so many created molecules, and we build the Kingdom of God when we fill these spaces with Christ-like behavior. "Give no place to the devil" means that we should not increase evil's hold in this world by adding to it. I'll go into this more later.

I do believe my family is beginning to experience a sense of God's type of justice. We will walk in the gift of a beautiful life. It is my right as a child of God and I hope you understand that it is your right too to partake of the "abundant Life"or life as full as God intended it to be.

What does this have to do with this beautiful Springtime we are enjoying? Well, Spring is always a beautiful representation of the Glory of God, of His goodness towards us, of regeneration and resurrection. It is a visible sign of the good things God designed for us to enjoy on a daily basis. Open your eyes and see, God gives good things. Life, death, resurrection are all beautiful, if seen from the proper vantage point. Rise above fear and guilt, which are like the allergies keeping us from enjoying the ever present beauty around us. Use your God given remedies of meditation, love, and faith, which are the spiritual antihistamines that we can inject into our spirit man. And get outside and enjoy the day!!!

Hope to hear from you!!!

Love, Roma Beth

My Sister, My Hero, Our Death

Good morning!!! I hope I have a few readers still with me. My posts are few and far between, but when they come, I hope they are rich and help you in some aspect of your own life. Or you may come in contact with someone who needs help in an area I address from my life, please feel free to share this blog. Today I will take a break from talking about trauma, to talking about what this date commemorates for me.

Today sixteen years ago my life began to unravel in a new way. My sister, encourager, second Mom, best friend, and biggest fan died. She was my hero! This day was the death of a certain kind of innocence. It was the day that life suddenly halted for me and my family. Yes I continued to go through the motions rising to meet the expectations around us, but feelings were far from me. We had some great friends back in those days who stepped in to help us with whatever we needed, and to them I will be eternally grateful. I would name them, but they may want to stay anonymous. I now know that I should have taken more time to heal.

I had not been in contact with my parents very often in those days, our family had been torn apart with conflict. But not long after I received the call informing me of her death, my doorbell rang. I opened the door and was shocked to see my Daddy standing there as grief stricken as I had ever seen him. He was a mess with sorrow. He fell into my arms and said "Oh Beth, I am so sorry". I think he knew how big of a loss this would be for me and my kids. I won't go into it now, but Becky basically mentored me in ministry, life, love, just about everything, and she was one of the last, if not the last link I had at times to sanity. When you've been reared in a house of cards, rebuilding with reality is very difficult. But this was a reality no one could change. Becky was the hitching post to which I hitched my ever changing emotions and she always led me to Jesus.

But back to my Dad, he then asked me to help him perform the unpleasant task of telling my Mom. My Mother had already lost so much and not by her own making. As I look back I realize that her choices had been laid out for her. So we set out in his car down highway 212, tears streaming down our faces. We both realized we were at the exact same place, but we found no words to form for the occasion. All I could think was, "is this real?".

My Mom awaited us and we sat her in a chair, I got at her feet, and as we told her I saw life drain from her face. It was the look of a Mother whose emotions are slowly sinking into the abyss of grief. We talked, we prayed and cried, we asked "why?". We asked "why Becky? Why now?". She had so much to do. Or so we thought.

Then suddenly, as always, reality returned. Daddy let go of her hand and left us to go perform another funeral. Good for his ministry, hurtful to his family. He really thought he was demonstrating Christ, maybe he was. But I can't help but feel that Christ stayed in that room with us. This is just my experience, it is what it is. God is still good. All for now.

From Roma with love

My Canary is Still Singing!

Good morning, and a beautiful one it is! Here I am again, and I must say that I got much feedback from my last entry. When you talk to me, it let's me know if what I am writing is of any help to you. And I really do write this in an attempt to help someone, anyone who may be in the middle of a traumatic situation. Thanks to those of you who gave your encouragement, you'll never know how much that means to us. If I needed to write for therapy, it wouldn't be for the world to see!!! The world's seen enough of my stuff!!! And to answer many of your questions, I hope I have made it clear that the abuser was not someone in my immediate family. Since my Dad was a great leader and did so much good, I need to clarify this. And there are many other great men of God who are related to us who have been there to help us through this. So I hope whatever you are going through can be eased by knowing others have been there. And once again, I love you all.

I said I would write a continuation of my last entry, and I will. I hope it will continue to loose your inner canary, so you can sing freely!! It may not be what most of you expected, but it will be what is the most helpful. If you need to know what I refer to in the rest of this entry, just go back and read the previous one, I won't try to recap.

I left off where my family was in the middle of helping my then, 24 year old daughter overcome the memory and revelation of a horrible traumatic childhood abuse. Because we were a close knit family, this affected us all very deeply, and my two Grandchildren, who were just little babies, were also being negatively impacted. The first thing my family wanted to do was find out who had done this, but to this I say, that doesn't really matter. You may think I'm crazy, but when someone you love is in the middle of a traumatic situation, and if it is an act perpetrated against them, the focus needs to be helping your loved one. You cannot help someone else in your own anger and revenge mode. I am in no way saying that you shouldn't eventually find this out just for the protection of others and to continue to protect your family. But, for purposes of this article, I want to focus on the steps we took in order to get on a road to recovery.

We are all in some form of recovery whether you like it or not. But I wanted to see our recovery lead somewhere. If your recovery is not leading to wellness, then you are not recovering, you are just continuing to play the victim. Jesus said in John 10:10, "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they (you) may have life and that they (you) may have it more abundantly." Since my family follows the teachings of Christ, we understood this scripture to say that to stay in a victim's role defeats our purpose for living. So, even though it was difficult to carry on, life had to go on. We knew that Sunday was coming and our family was responsible for the service. I remember how proud I was that my son was able to carry on leading worship and ministering that Sunday. But we still had to deal with our own pain and the pain my daughter was experiencing. And kudos to her husband for being so good in this. In the long run, however, no one could be healed for her, she had to receive her own healing. And as her Mother I had to receive mine. It was hard not to take this personally, I did, but I also had to stay objective so that my pain didn't give more ground for growth to the pain of my other family members.

Here are some of the steps we took as a family, and as a disclaimer, may I say that even though we try to follow these steps, there has still been fall out. We lost our church, which is still a pain in my heart. But there were other circumstances that could have contributed to this as well. And I don't think a true church can be lost. We just had to close the doors of our fellowship but those who are the "church", who took seriously the teachings of the church we led, they have moved on to bring their own life to other fellowships, this makes me glad.

But, first we prayed for the right thinking. Like I said, if your thoughts and emotions are negative towards others, you cannot be a help. And we decided to keep it as quiet as we could and only share this with very trusted people. Your intention for sharing your problems maybe pure, but others can make you miserable by their interpretation of it. Even though we tried to keep it quiet, eventually people started guessing at what had happened in our family. The guessing can hurt more than the truth. Sometimes people love to hear that those in leadership have problems because they are looking for a reason to cast doubt upon them. Sometimes, others who mean well, may share your problem with someone who doesn't understand, then there will be many other victims. Yes, of course, the knee jerk reaction is to tell everyone!! But when you let it cool down for a while, you realize, first you don't have the right to share other people's pain with anyone. It is up to them who they share it with. And if you are the one in pain, the first one you need to share with, other than your closest family, is a professional. Please talk, but talk to the right people. Believe me, this one thing will spare you so much trouble! And I'll say this, don't expect the people you do share this with to be as appalled as you are, if it is a really bad situation, sometimes they won't even believe you, therefore they can't be a support for you anyway. Telling them will become a liability. This is only the first step, don't give up on me, there's still good things to come!

Well, that's all for today. I'll continue this later, It's too pretty out today to be sitting here reading my blog, or anyone's blog!! Go out and enjoy the day and take time to hug someone you love, life can throw curves at you. Thank goodness we have a Higher Power who is alive and well and who cares!

P.S. My canary is still singing!

Until then, my love,

Roma Beth

Hello my friends! I hope your week was productive and relaxing. But for those of you who still need to wind down, just take a deep breath and be still for 1 minute by the clock, thinking only positive thoughts. See if you can do this, most people find it difficult, but if you can, it tends to help clear your brain. And I should know!! I am one who has a hard time clearing my brain!! I know it's all there, because I have had numerous CT scans and MRI's. And apart from a few Migraine induced lesions, I have a normal thinker. But thoughts are not always generated in the head, as we all know, they come from a much different and deeper place.

One of the things I did do to try to bring some peace into my brain was to buy a canary. Now most of you know how much I love nature, but I didn't even really want a canary bird, I was persuaded when I heard that the canary's song can solicit the ability to focus in the "right now". And it really does, if you don't mind having him sing over you when you are trying to talk or do other things. He sings when he wants to. That is the one freedom he has, my Peter Cetera. That's his name, he is named after the former lead singer of the "Chicago" band, which is my favorite group. He no longer even tries to fly out of his cage because he doesn't want to. I really don't think he can conceive of anything outside of his cage, it's all too scary! I feel bad for him because he doesn't even know the beautiful world that awaits him if he could just fly free.

Now to the serious part. Trauma can be a cage in our lives from which we never feel confident to fly. When something happens to totally change life as you know it...usually unexpected, that's trauma. And one such thing happened to my family October 6th of 2006. The event had actually taken place many years earlier, but the revelation of events from back then hit us square in the face. Wes and I were in a little mountain spot where we own property spending a much needed overnight away. At 3:00 am my cell phone rang and my son-in-law sounded very troubled. My heart went to my throat, "you need to talk to Penie, she's calling for you, something has happened and I'm not sure what." I heard my daughter's voice in the background screaming and I immediately started shaking and praying. "Mom" she said in a little girl's voice, "He raped me", I said "who, and are you okay?". All I got was "he raped me, oh God Mommy, he raped me". My 24 year old daughter doesn't usually call me "Mommy", so I knew we were in trouble. I was so puzzled and disoriented, by this time Wes had grabbed the phone. Ryan was back on, he said "she just began regressing like a child and saying she was raped and she said it was when she was little." From that point all I can remember is speeding home through mountain roads, sometimes 90 miles and hour to get back to help our daughter. By the time we arrived, my son Britt was there helping bring some comfort and taking care of the babies. I held Penie who was curled up and still sobbing but making no sense. Gradually she began to make sense again, and when she did, the story she told was spine chilling. An eight year old girl, being totally abused beyond comprehension and it was told in detail as if it was happening to her all over again. Suddenly things began to come together in my mind and certain things about her growing up made sense. All anyone in that room could feel was first compassion then anger and outrage and a need to bring justice to the perpetrator. Now don't judge us, had you been there you would have understood. All of this is in the past and I in no way desire to bring anything up that will cause harm to anyone. My daughter Penie has forgiven and is dealing with her own pain. And to accuse anyone is not my intention. I intend to use this experience to bring help and hope to those who may have had similar situations. And to to give understanding to those who were in our lives, at the time, as to what our family was dealing with. The church which we shepherded at the time suffered as our family withdrew, and I feel I owe it to them to share this with them. No names will be used in the making of this blog!!!!

I have found that my trauma kept me in a cage. And until recently I didn't know I could find the freedom to fly above it. I might have been producing sound to the best of my ability, but finding out the truth about my child and my family put me somewhere dark and isolated. I was being held in a cage in which I could only see one room. I only ate emotionally what was handed to me, never being empowered to change my emotional diet. I really thought I was doing good and doing my thing by singing my caged song! The only people I was touching were those who happened by my cage. I could go on with the comparisons, but listen, I want to share how my family has walked out of the cage, at least for now and seen this trauma for what it is. We are still dealing, but we now see the impact and the blessing. I hope if there is a trauma situation you have been dealing with that you will remember that the cage can only hold you so long. Don't die caged up like so many others, get help, talk to someone. Life is a one time deal. You need peace and you need hope. I'm here to try to give as much of that as I can. Had I stayed inside this cage I would have died of resentment.

I will continue this next time and share some steps for recovery. Please stay with me, I hope this hasn't confused you, but I know the God of your understanding will help you if you just begin to ask for clarity over the trauma in your life.

Until next time,

Love, Roma Beth

The Early Bird

Writing early in the morning is wonderful! I love it when I wake up energized and ready to meet the day, which wasn't the case this morning! No I awoke at five thirty a.m. with a case of insomnia. I usually don't get up that early, I am a night owl and usually stay up until after midnight. But this morning I woke up eager to write.

I have been ill, so I have not written for a while, but let me share with you something that came to me as an inspiration of hope. Now I know some of you are waiting for me to share the more intimate details of my life, which I will share as I feel to. But for today, I want to share a positive story that helped to frame my life. There have been times in my life when men or women have spoken to me and I knew it was directly from my Higher Power, and when I was in my mid-twenties this came about. A man who knew nothing about the circumstances of my life, and knew very little about me said this as a part of a word of encouragement. "You are a wise eagle, you are not an ostrich with your head in the sand" and he went on to say that I would see many things but be able to discern them. And then he spoke to such an intimate situation in my heart, that I knew he was genuine. He spoke about my children. He said not to worry about them, that as I gave my time to help others, that God would take care of my children. And He has.

I share this because I want to share with you a secret about my life, and hopefully it will also help you. In studying the eagle, I found it closely related to the hawk, the main difference being size. They are both raptors, from the same family, and are birds that soar!! I will share later all of my episodes of encounters with hawks, but since that Word, every time I see a Hawk soar above me, I know God is in control. In Indian medicine, the hawk represents wisdom and the ability to see a situation from all sides. Boy have I needed that!!! All through my ministry and Pastorate God always allowed a hawk to show up when I needed to remember that He was in charge, and that He had an eternal view of the situation in front of me. Impossible situations were always handled divinely, after seeing my hawk. Now, for fear that this blog might be too long, I will say to you, as a pre-cursor to everything else I might share in the future, that I have seen a lot in my three lifetimes!! But, I have always tried to see through the eyes of an eagle. As I share about growing up as a Pastor's daughter and the challenges I faced, or about my recent challenges of facing addiction and recovery in my own family, I hope to bring you an "eagle's view". That's my purpose.

Someone reading this today needs to know that God is in control of your circumstances. If you will humbly admit your need for His help, He will show Himself faithful. He may not give you what you want, but He'll help you soar to places where that won't matter. Maybe you need to just give up, really, just stop holding on so tight!!!! How can God mend something He can't hold? Give it to Him. You know, "cast your care upon Him for He cares for You", as the scripture says.

Okay, time's up. I have to go, but here's your hope, the next time you see a hawk soaring above you, remember your position in a God who loves and fly above your circumstances. Take wing and fly above the distractions and limitations of your dirt (earthly) man. and change your altitude, your perspective, moving into the possibilities of a dimension of freedom and hope, which is the dimension of God's love. Sound simple? It is. Let the hawk bring you back to the the present moment, open your heart and take in the beautiful sights, you'll be surprised just where your flight will take you!!

We'll talk later,

Love, Roma Beth

Good morning to all of you!! Thank you for giving me a few minutes of your time today. I hope this enriches you and aids you in living a prosperous life, in all areas.

Albert Einstein said: "I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be."

As we all know, our days can be full of chaos! As I sit here now, I am bombarded with four dogs barking at my window. These, of course, are my wonderful, fierce small dogs. They have discovered a black cat outside our house who doesn't belong there. No matter what I do or say, these particular dogs won't like that cat because it's their nature not to. I can train them not to bark, or to put their attention elsewhere, but they will never love that cat. Even if their master, me, tries to subdue their nature, it will pop out! Even if the dog whisperer is called, he might can change their conduct, but he can't really change their heart, their nature ( By the way, I love how the dog whisperer takes people back to their true nature with dogs) . My dogs weren't raised with this cat, and as far as they're concerned he is the enemy force and is to be hated!!!!! For those of you who have seen me speak, imagine me illustrating this!!!

With that picture in your mind, look at yourself for a moment. How often do you get permission to focus on you? So do it before the moment passes! You, as a human being have been created with a nature. We are told we were created in the image of God, who is light and love. Yeah yeah, I know about "the fall', but that didn't change the nature you were meant to have, if anything, it just subdued it.

What really gets under your skin? Is it something you know goes against the nature you were created with? Now don't go all theological on me, I could go in any direction, but for those of you who claim to have a relationship with Jesus Christ, He actually showed us how to act. If you don't believe anything else about Him, you must know that He was one who loved and changed others to do so. He shed the light of God wherever He went. He showed us a better way to live. No hatred, or unforgiveness, or fear, or rejection. Even when He was dying. These are topics I will be writing about in the future. But for today, let's do a general overhaul. Let's isolate anything destructive to our "God nature", or "Jesus consciousness", and let's begin to ask our Higher power, "is that feeling worthy of my nature?". Once that is done, if you identify something that is not, write it down, maybe start a journal to help you love yourself more, then give that attitude or opinion up. It's that simple. Go back to your nature in that situation, I believe God will help you to do so once you identify and ask.

I think you will see changes that surprise you by choosing to let go of things against God's nature in you. Like these dogs, I can't really do anything but get them away from the window to get them stop acting on their nature. I want you to look out of your window of life after having asked God for a change, let your nature go, and see what happens.

I love each one of you, I am on this journey along with you, so any comments are welcome.

Until next time,

With love,

Roma Beth

My morning Coffee

Good morning!! I decided that today would be a good day for a morning post. I drink delicious coffee!! My husband roasts our coffee in his own roaster, how wonderfully lucky am I? He brings it to me every morning and that is his expression of saying "I love you" everyday. We decided he doesn't have to say it if he thinks it by bringing me my coffee!!! While drinking it we have some quiet time and some interaction, this morning I had some thoughts to share. By the way, thanks to all who have signed up to follow these thoughts, I know you all and You are all very unique in your own abilities to not only take life to a new level, but to lead others there. And that's what I want to share with you, taking life to a new level.

We all know that our own destinies lie within our own choices, if not, the news flash is that no one, no force outside of you, no system or philosophy will take you to a new level of living, if you don't already have the will power inside of you. Some people think they possess it, and then when they hit bottom, they're surprised they can't seem to find it like I was.

The biggest thing I have had to learn is how to live life on life's terms and take it one moment at a time. Living life on life's terms for me is not just being a realist, it is also having the understanding that life is a gift and if we learn to live it as a gift and take one moment at a time, not looking so far ahead, but just conquering the moment, we're in, we can slowly start enjoying everything that comes our way. Wow, nothing so spiritual, just simply there to be done. I would say to those of you who have suffered depression, and believe me, it is an illness!!! This is my best advice, keep life as simple as you can, not complicating the picture of who you should be. Don't place expectations on yourself or let anyone else, indeed, only your God knows who you are and He's giving you the moments as they come shaped just like they are for a reason!!! It's so simple, just like Jesus' teachings, such a simple concept. But remember that "your steps are ordered of the Lord". That means that He is shaping every single moment to do something in you or through you, and maybe sometimes He just wants you to breath so your cells can receive the nourishment to get you to the next moment.

Let me give you one small example that gave me insight into this. Silk is one of our most precious fabrics. If you watch a silk worm you will observe that it is a fat and greedy creature. But somehow out of it's own substance it produces something amazing and beautiful. You know why? it doesn't have a choice, it was made that way. It was born to express this beauty which we so take for granted. What are you made for? Well, certainly if a worm, fat and greedy produces something that the fashion industry holds so precious,and it is used to clothe us, you, by focusing on what you do have, can produce something unbelievable to you and to others. Let's give it a try and go on this journey together.

There will be more to come on this subject, but until then,

With Love,
Roma Beth